Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween, everyone!  Halloween is my favorite holiday.  I love the costumes, the pumpkins, the crisp autumn air, the neighborly spirit of giving candy to small children and watching them run away squealing with joy.

But for some people, Halloween is all about the scares: the haunted houses, the fake blood, the monsters that haunt you long into November.  I have to think that Etsy seller Steamhatter is one of those people.  She makes beautiful shoes (see her ice cream heels and candy button heels… so cute!), but she definitely has a dark side.  So be forewarned: these shoes may legitimately give you nightmares.

The signature stripes, the melting flesh… Nightmare on Elm Street, anyone?  Steamhatter perfectly encapsulates iconic villain Freddy Krueger.  One, two, these shoes are for you.  Three, four, they’re covered in gore.  Five, six, these are some freaky kicks.  Seven, eight, these shoes are great.  Nine, ten… never sleep again.  Because these shoes are seriously creepy.  Yours for $95.

Oh my god, between these shoes and that terrifying clown on American Horror Story this season I may develop a fear of clowns after all.  What’s scariest here?  The crazy hair?  The red eyes?  The teeth so badly in need of dental work?  The fact that the clown head is actually a skull?  And kudos to Steamhatter for making the rest of the shoe look like the clown’s outfit.  That’s… nice.  Yours for $150.

Warning: the next two pairs are not for the faint of heart.

I’m not kidding.

You’ve been warned.

Carry on, then, you brave soul.

This pair of heels is covered in medical gauze, with gashes oozing blood.  The blood all around the foot opening makes this pair for me—a nice contrast to the flesh tones of the shoes. Or like these have been surgically attached to your feet.  You know.  Yours for $85.

Steamhatter calls these boots “Zombie Hunter,” but it’s a little too much like Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs for me.  I… I can’t describe these in any kind of non-gross way.  You see them.  Let’s leave it at that.  Yours for $200.

Apologies for any nightmares, but it is Halloween!  Muahahahahahah!

Sales this weekend:

Sorry ladies, I’m traveling.  But I trust that you can sniff out the sales on your own!