How to Outsmart a Zombie in Three Easy Shoes

This weekend, some friends and I are going to test our wits against a zombie.  That’s right: we’re willingly trapping ourselves in a locked room with a zombie, and we’ll only have an hour to find our way out.  The zombie's chained to the wall to start, but every five minutes the chains get let out another foot...

My fellow zombie-bait Christina asked me for some appropriate shoes.  Christina, here I give you (and all of you, should a zombie apocalypse ever actually occur) three ways to beat a zombie.

1.  Speed.

This is the easy one.  (Unless we have the unfortunate problem of a running zombie apocalypse instead of a shuffling zombie apocalypse, in which case I hope you’ve been training.)  I swear by my Asics, so here I give you their GEL-Kayano 20.  Responsive bounce back, multidirectional stretch mesh, a lightweight and supportive design… this will give you a fighting chance!  Available in a dozen other color combos as well; your choice for $160 from Lady Foot Locker.

2.  Weaponry.

Bang bang!  The Bondgirl by Pleaser is well stocked, with a gun-shaped 7.5-inch heel and ammo all around its ginormous platform.  Not enough ammo for you?  They come with detachable ankle straps, so you can load up as needed.  (Okay, so this isn’t really a gun.  BUT you could bash the zombie on the head with this and stand a fighting chance.)  Also available with silver bullets (…in case of werewolves?); your choice for $88 from Exotic High Heels.

3.  Camouflage.

If fighting and running aren’t your style, you could always try blending in.  Perhaps the undead will see the Zombie Stomper and think (can they think?), “Ugh.  She zombie.  Me no eat.”  And once you’ve lured it in with your sexy four-inch heel, stomp its brains, like the shoe’s name suggests.  Done!  Find them at Iron Fist for $45.

Wish us luck!  Hopefully I’ll be back next week…

Sales this weekend:

Bakers: Buy one, get one half off-- the entire site!

Bloomingdales: 30-40% off designer shoes

Lord & Taylor: Friends and family sale-- 25% off with promo code FRIENDS

Macy's: Extra 25% off with code EXTRA

Payless: Every sandal on sale