Frankenshoes

At Halloween, I am reminded of a story—a story of a man who thought he could improve on the human design, and sewed together parts of different people to create a new, superior creature.

The man was Dr. Victor Frankenstein.  I think we all remember how that turned out.

And yet, I keep seeing the same thing in shoe form.  Some designer, in a room somewhere, has a stroke of design genius (or just a stroke, I sometimes wonder), and the result is a shoe that honestly looks like it should be two different shoes.  Or three different shoes.  I christen these “Frankenshoes”: parts of many shoes sewn together to make a new, unnatural creature.  Take this one:

I see three different shoes in the Moya: an oxford (seen in the punched dot detail around the foot), a short boot (since the laces stop just above the ankle), and a tall boot.  But it’s got an air-cushioned insole, so at least you’ll be comfy while other people scratch their heads!  Yours from Dr. Martens for $157.

The Oruga is part Peter Pan boot, part moccasin, and, I don’t know, part fan boat, I think.  (Just look at the sole!  Definitely part fan boat.)  At least the yellow suede is very happy!  Find them at Camper for $150.

Okay, so the Sneek by Airwalk is definitely part sneaker and part wedge, but the thing that makes this a Frankenshoe for me is that it has both laces and one strap of Velcro across the front.  Why?  Why laces and Velcro?  How many different sneakers are we trying to make this be?!  Yours for $30 from Payless (and it’s BOGO time, so you can get another pair for half off while you’re there!).

But perhaps, like Frankenstein’s creature, these shoes are misunderstood and just want to be loved.  So if you ever come across a Frankenshoe, be kind to it.  It’s not its fault that the designer lost all sense.

Sales this weekend:
Aerosoles: Boot sale-- up to 25% off select boots
Bakers: 50% off almost all boots
Bare Feet Shoes: Buy one pair of boots and get the second half off using code BOOTS12
Lord & Taylor: An extra 15% off regular and sale items with savings pass or code SAVEMORE
Macy's: An extra 15% off with code SAVE
Payless: Buy one, get one half off